Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just google imaged poop.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
