i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
