would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
