Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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