threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
