its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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