i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
