Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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