I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i've created a new STD.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
