sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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