apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
