he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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