weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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