Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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