Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
