She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
