I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You're like the curious george of whores
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
