Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
