dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
