I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
