do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
