The maid of honor just puked.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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