How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize