Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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