I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
