Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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