Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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