Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
