You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
