I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
