I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
