they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My penis needs a shock collar
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
