Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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