at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize