Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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