What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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