drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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