I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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