Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
