you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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