thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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