that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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