Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you traded sex for a burrito?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
