Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize