Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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