She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I stole a fireplace last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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