Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize