My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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