I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
