His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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