i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
