We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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