Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
