I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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