I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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